I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
