I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
