Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
