She announced her abortion via fbk
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
