I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
