i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
