You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
