the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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