he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
