i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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