told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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