Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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