im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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