We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
