My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
