Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
