Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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