I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
