Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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