we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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