No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
