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dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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