6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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