So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
