So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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