some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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