just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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