I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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