I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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