Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize