he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just want nice things and good sex
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize