Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize