I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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