Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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