Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
