i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize