Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
