i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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