did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
