Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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