she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The struggles of a small town man whore
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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