He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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