the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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