i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
