when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
this will be a night to untag.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
