Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
