when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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