By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
