now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Fuck appropriateness.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
