i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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