I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
