Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
