I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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