Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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