how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
