she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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