Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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