Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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