It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
