booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
