if you like me you must not know who I am
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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