Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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