I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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