i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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