Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
